scattered

[desh]

I keep not thinking of anything interesting to write about that's more than 2 sentences long. And I keep not remembering the shorter ideas either.

I spent half the weekend in New York. Saw tons of people from my past, both surprises and not, and both recent past and way in the past. I like it there, sometimes.

Then I had dinner last night with my dad, step-mom, and step-brothers, to celebrate that my dad's been cancer free for a year! Yay!!! Great dinner, too. Mahi-mahi is my new favorite fish.

The Eagles won again. Yay!

Why is it that "dance like no one's watching" has such a good rep, but "sing like no one's listening" doesn't? I think that's silly. This is the final justification I need to never hold back my singing. I mean, I think I have a decent voice, but if you disagree, I officially no longer care.

<jew-stuff> At Kol Zimrah Friday night, I learned great melodies for ma'ariv aravim and v'shamru, both written by the guy leading services. Too bad I have no musical memory. I'll try to get Ben to send me some sort of copy of them, so I can really learn them. I did remember the melody for yigdal that we did, though, which I'd heard once before. I really need to collect a bunch these, and then actually lead services somewhere at some point. Still haven't really ever done that. I think that not only would I be capable of doing so at this point with only a little preparation, but I'd do an amazing job with either psukei d'zimrah or Shabbat ma'ariv in particular. </jew-stuff>

Regular paychecks are nice, I have to say. Being un-unemployed has its benefits.

[Poll #372110]

Comments

[desh]

Ha!

Back when we weren't dating, though, I think you were pretty sure you were a girl. Or at least if you weren't, you certainly didn't tell me that.

And I'm not convinced that you and conana don't already know each other.

[below-the-belt.livejournal.com]

i believed in the gender binary back then, sure. but i was never sure i was a girl. i remember being eight years old, sitting on the toilet and wondering if i just had a really small penis and that was why everyone thought i was a girl - and then i remembered i had long hair. 'i must be a girl,' i thought. 'boys don't have long hair.'

logic at its finest.

and it doesn't really matter if you thought i was a girl or what. if you were attracted to me [which i know you were at one point - at the very least, on the infamous double date with klah and eli] then you were attracted to a genderqueer with, at the time, i think some mild gender dysphoria. i don't know for sure but i think that's what i've got now that keeps me from leaving my apartment because i hate the way people look at me and know who/what i am when i don't know who/what i am. only its stronger now. but i had it then, i just knew if i dressed sorta femme and didn't think about it too much then i wouldn't be questioned and i could kiss boys and sometimes girls and it would be okay.

if you'd like, i'll continue trying to convince you that you're a homo but i'd rather focus those energies on people like rob kallin and my more recent ex nick, who identify as hetero and whom i dated for four months each [my longests]. but it's fun for me so whatevs.

[conana.livejournal.com]

hmm. right. I had not put it together. We've met once or thrice, at least.