Goodbye

[desh]

I said goodbye today. Penn's graduation is coming up, and the class of 2005 will be gone soon. The '05 people are, generally speaking, the people who started Penn when I did, since I transferred there. I spent two solid years on campus when I was actually enrolled, plus two years beforehand anticipating and two years afterwards reminiscing. I think that adds up to about four, so this has always seemed like it would be a sort of second commencement for me.

In past years, I've managed to justify not taking graduation too hard by telling myself that I'm closer to more people in a younger class, so it's easier to say goodbye than it will be the next year. Or, at least, that I'm closer to more people who will be leaving Philly from the younger classes. Even if this all wasn't strictly true. But that logic doesn't work anymore. Not only is the class I started Penn with leaving, but only 25% of the people there my senior year will still be there after this Monday.

So I had a couple last dances tonight, reprising good times of the past 4 years. And I gave some goodbye hugs. There are a few of those people whom I don't know when I'll see again. I can trust that it will happen sometime, but I don't know when.

A few people (okay, just jox) told me that I'm really too sappy about this. And I am rather sappy, for sure. But it's how I handle this sort of thing, and I'm not apologizing for it. I'm really sad to see some people go, and even sadder if I don't know when I'm going to see them after today or this week. I can handle it; it's not like the sadness is going to drive me into depression or anything. I'm just going to be sad. And I'm going to tell people how I feel about them and how much I'll miss them. And I'm going to remember the last time I walked out of HRN 512, or the last time for anything else important to me. And that's fine.

Comments

[burr86.livejournal.com]

That's totally fine. Because I'm totally the same way. ;)

[outcastspice.livejournal.com]

*hugs* i understand, hon. i think it's wonderful that you're accepting (or 'owning', as they say) your emotions on this one, instead of pretending you don't care.

[jox.livejournal.com]

okay, owning emotions is fine. defacing property is NOT. way to leave out that part.

[desh]

You have no proof of that.

[jox.livejournal.com]

does that make it any better?

[desh]

Does that make what any better?

[dagoski.livejournal.com]

So have you graduated? I'm confused. That's gotta be sad because Philly is place where people generally leave after graduation. But, hey, "we'll always have live journal". That was actually something that was getting me down about Ann Arbor. Great place, but you often get to be good friends with folks and they up and get their PhDs and take off. The cool side of this is that you'll have crash space all around the country with your old classmates.

[desh]

I graduated two years ago, actually. I just have this habit of sticking around after I finish something, and waiting until I've totally worn out my welcome.

And yeah, I'm not going anywhere. Not any time soon, at least. And more of my friends graduating this year are staying in Philly (or within realistic driving distance) than I might have guessed. But there are still at least a handful headed off to the faraway cities they came from, or somewhere else not nearby. I wish they'd stay, of course, but this is the price you pay for making friends...

[dagoski.livejournal.com]

That'd be good news for the city. I hope the rial we just saw causes some fundamental change, because the thing that infuriates me about the city is that I see a lot possibility that can't be realized the way things currently are. I see it as a good thing anytime grads from Penn and Drexel stick around.

I stayed in Ann Arbor because after my first try at grad school fell apart, I figured I'd just hang around til I figured out what I was going to do with my life. All of a sudden, I had my ten year pin from the UofM.