POTD

[desh]

Random question: When you picture your wedding, or having kids, or any other aspect of being married or otherwise in an adult long-term relationship, is the person you picture yourself with always the same, or does it vary from one imagining to another?

(The answer to this question is obvious for those of you already married or already in a long-term relationship, and it's almost as obvious for those of you who have been dating someone for more than just a few months. I'm more curious about the answer for those of you who are single, who are near the beginning of a relationship, or who are dating around or whatever.)

[Poll #1014648]

(x-posted a bit)

Comments

[nnaylime.livejournal.com]

Actually, I don't know because I've never actually given the person a face . . . I picture the event, and the emotion, and the supporting cast, but the co-star is always in the shadows. I don't know if that makes me egocentric or a realist inasmuch as marriage, family, etc. are important to me, but there's never been anyone significant enough in my life to occupy the central role of my daydreams.

[desh]

Interesting. Do you somehow know things about the person even without a face? Or is the other person really mostly irrelevant?

And I don't know if whether someone is significant enough in your life is important to everyone's answer. I imagine someone's going to answer thinking "It's always Jessica Alba!!!"

FTR, I don't think this makes you egocentric, or even really a realist; just that this is the way your mind works with regard to this stuff.

[eboniorchid.livejournal.com]

What an interesting question! I'm not with anyone and sort of don't plan to be, but when I imagine things like that, it depends on the context, because there are things I want for myself and then there are things my family wants for me. So, depending on how I'm thinking about my future, I might think about one of about four different types of people fitting that role. Or, none at all.

[nnaylime.livejournal.com]

Very generic - and deals more with what I consider ideals. In the wedding scenario, we're standing up front. He's tall(er than me), very broad build without being overly muscled, dark hair (black or brown) but can't tell on the eyes - I'm very much in love with him, and can sense that he feels the same about me - and it's more of a natural, easy, companionable love than an idealized sort, there's a sense of anticipation but also a sense of comfort, safety, and rightness. He's very solomn and still, but no more nervous than I.

In the home scenarios, again it's just snatches. He and I sitting in chairs in front of a fire, or my watching him play with the kids in the backyard - in these cases - all very idealized 50s movie type things. So, yeah, characteristics - tall, strong, intelligent, involved in my life and with the family, but the exact physical attributes are much less important than the way in which he's incorporated.

[sleepsong.livejournal.com]

That's exactly what I picture. Every once in a while he sort of morphs into my ex, but I just shove that away and he becomes a faceless entity.

When I'm in a relationship I tend to picture the person I'm with at the time, and every once in a while I wonder it would be like if my ex managed to get over the case of Idiot he came down with, but at the moment as a single woman with nobody I'm terribly interested in I don't have anybody to put in the partner's place.

[krisispm.livejournal.com]

Probably shouldn't have made results open to all, then, eh?

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

Before I met Fin, I assumed I'd be single my whole life. After I met Fin, I haven't really imagined things between us because they're actually happening!

[desh]

Naah, it's more fun this way.

[metalphoenix.livejournal.com]

It's always the same person, but it's always some imaginary perfect person that doesn't actually exist. *coughs* So I didn't really know what to pick.

[burr86.livejournal.com]

ditto

[desh]

Wonder if that person's out there imagining you...

(Sorry, was that too sappy? Nevermind.)

[leftyjew.livejournal.com]

Nah, I'm not, actually.

[leftyjew.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I kinda had to.

[sen-ichi-rei.livejournal.com]

I don't really have a specific person, because I've never dated anyone. I guess every so often when there's a guy I like, I might imagine what life would be like with him...but I try not to let myself get carried away, because that's an easy way to set myself up for disappointment. So most of the time (especially right now, as I'm at a cross-roads and there are no guys in my life currently) it's someone faceless, mysterious, who probably doesn't actually exist. But it would be nice if he did. Maybe he would whisper locus numbers from an archaeological site into my ear, and I could go find him.

[tobeginagain.livejournal.com]

Me too, and he really doesn't ever get even the generic characteristics that your "he" gets. ::shrug::